The much younger Pia would have written this post in another category; but you know you’re a legit tito/tita when going out to party becomes a practical consideration that needs time and preparation.
Just a brief background, I was never a party girl, but I have to admit, I did my fair share of going out and doing stupid stuff when I was younger (like getting inebriated enough to dance on the ledge, when in my sober moments, I knew I probably looked like I was having an epileptic attack).
Eventually though, all the late nights, the crowded bars and the loud music just became old (okay fine, it wasn’t just the partying that got old).
I remember distinctly when it happened. I was out with my BGF Boogie and we decided to hit this new bar. The place was PACKED!!!
Normally, I liked going to “happening” places. But this time, I frantically looked for the nearest fire exit to make sure we were covered.
I wanted to stay as near to that exit as possible- but Boogie wanted to join his friends. So we pushed our way to their corner and I did something that marked my entry to the tita community: I plopped my oversized bag on their tiny table.
Dude, my bag was bigger than its entire surface area. I looked around and everyone was carrying an itsy bitsy purse. In my mind, I was thinking, ‘Whaat? They left the house without tissue and ibuprofen?? How irresponsible!’
Right then and there I knew it was time to retire. 🙂 I would still go out drinking with friends, but this time it was in chill places where I could actually carry a decent conversation and that had enough room for my oversized bags.
Truth be told, I’m quite happy living the tita life-occasionally reminiscing about our partying days with friends, declaring vehemently and somewhat gleefully that if my future daughter attempted to wear any of the skimpy crap we used to wear, I would ground her until she’s 30.
But, a few months ago, a friend who was much younger than me, messaged our Facebook group and invited all of us to “Valk” for his birthday . Roy is a good friend, and he is really the sweetest. So despite my better judgment, I couldn’t refuse.
I’m sure a lot of you middle- aged peers have found yourselves in the same predicament. And since, I officially have stepped foot in a millennial party, I will brazenly give you tips on how to prepare for one.
Disclaimer: Please do not take this post very seriously. I really don’t know what I’m talking about. This is all in good fun.
DO NOT DRESS TO IMPRESS- KEEP IT CASUAL
The dress code seems to be a major consideration for every single tito and tita who find themselves in a clubbing situation.
So how casual is casual? As casual as you could get away with without looking like a hobo. In other words, not grocery shopping in Puregold level, more like dinner and watching the last full show in Powerplant casual.
If you insist on specifics- then maybe jeans, a decent top (for guys something with a collar- I don’t think they allow t-shirts in these clubs still) and flats/sneakers. (Ladies, if you’re still comfortable wearing heels, then knock yourselves out.)
There is a caveat: KEEP IT AGE APPROPRIATE. I’m telling you, there is nothing sadder than an old dude, surrounded by a bunch of legit hispters, wearing a loud, tight shirt with some millennially ironic phrase written on it. (Unless ofcourse you’re an artist, a club owner or in one of those forever young fields- you guys have your own set of rules. Wait, can you even be considered a tito/tita? Then why are you reading this?!?)
I’m on the fence with this whole hip sneakers thing, but some people my age can actually pull it off. (I personally have cankles, so I’m secretly jealous of you guys.)
Remember how you used to laugh at your dad for wearing that Guns n’ Roses t-shirt when we were younger? Or your mom when she insisted that she can still shop at Forever 21? I rest my case.
Let’s face it, as my friends Booboo and Margaux put it, ‘dein na natin kaya makipagsabayan sa mga bagets’. Anything we have in our closet will not be apt for these young places. So might as well be comfortable right?
Besides, I think we’re all past the stage where we go out to be seen. Our sensible friends are probably asleep or vegging out infront of the TV anyway. The only one you will probably bump into is your niece- and you should be policing her outfit, not copying it.
Remember, you will need to be up all night. And against your better judgment, you might even get tipsy. Therefore, wear something that will give you better chances of keeping your dignity intact.
Plus, apparently most of these milennials are into street chic anyway. Thus if you insist that you must at least blend in, you have better chances of doing so by keeping it casual.
Seriously. Resist the urge to whip out your classic little black dress (or any variant of it). It will just make you look more like a tita. (I literally came from a funeral- so I was wearing a conservative white dress with flats. I foolishly thought I could get away with weekend-brunch chic. I looked as out of place as someone who wore her Sunday’s best to a formal wedding. :P)
Marx, the only person in our group who was still partying apart from Roy, tried to warn us. But I didn’t listen. So he looked all hip in his Adidas and relaxed jeans and I had on my weekend-brunch fiasco. I looked like one of them titas in RJ Bistro.
Keep in mind that classic fashion rule: When in doubt, it’s better to underdress than overdress.
TAKE A NAP BEFORE GOING
Ok, so this particular group of friends consisted of a bunch of other people who were closer to my age than Roy’s. In short, most of us were titas (Marx is on the fence- he exhibits both tita and millennial-like qualities). And we had hilarious, FGD-level conversations about what to wear, what time to go, how late we should stay up etc.
Here’s the funny thing though: we spent days talking about this crap. BUT the tita chapter of the group didn’t make it to Valkyrie!
Like the energetic 30-year old that he was, Roy wanted to “load up” (ah to be young and to be able to consume an indefinite amount of alcohol), so we were all at Revel, which was connected to Valkyrie, around 9’ish. We were thinking, maybe we’ll go to “Valk” at around 12, stay ‘til around 2 then call it at night. Guess what, the kids were still reveling at Revel (tita pun- could not resist, sorry) at 1:45!
Moe, who was getting grumpier and grumpier, insisted that we tap out. The others followed suit.
Lesson learned: These parties start much later than you could ever conceive. So do your middle-aged body a favor, take a nap before leaving.
Repeat after me: Dein na natin kaya makipagsabayan sa mga bagets. We need to give ourselves a bit of an advantage. Take a nap.
GET YOURSELF A DAMN TABLE
We may not have gotten to Valkyrie, but I know for a fact that these places get inhumanely crowded. I remember how I would stand around in 4-inch heels, fighting for breathable space amidst all these sweaty, inebriated bodies thinking, “Ooh, fun! I could do this all night!”
Now, I can’t even get through a wedding before whining about my shoes and forcing my husband to get my flats from the car.
We may not have our twenty year- old knees anymore, but we have an advantage that our allowanced/entry-level salaried selves didn’t have: Buying power.
By now, we’re all probably in a better financial standing than we were back then (if you’re not- then what the hell are you thinking going to a club? Be sensible- invest your money in stocks or something).
Furthermore, unless required, don’t even consider loading up in another bar. That sh*t is for them younger ones. We should conserve our energy. So cough up the overpriced cover charge and get a damn table. That way, you can sit down whenever your joints scream for mercy and you have space for your man purse/oversized bag.
You can take home that stuff if you don’t finish it anyway (yeah, yeah. It’s uncool to take that stuff home. But you’re a tito/tita now. Who the hell cares about cool?).
These are just some clubbing essentials that I thought of. There’s a little bit more that I want to share- because if it’s one things that tita’s do well, it’s over prepare. I hope you stay tuned.
Berlin says
Ive finally realized i am a tita when my son’s friends address me as “tita.” Though I love dancing and loud music and same as those sweet ones, I seldom frequent clubs or bars. They arent my thing or perhaps because my friends arent used to those things thus I dont get invitation as well. Nway, now that I am a tita, I somehow imagine myself attending events in bars and see myself enjoying. Maybe because I simply love to party. And I could wear my heels while dancing but surely the next day, my hips and legs would be aching.
Pia says
I love to dance too! Unfortunately, dancing doesn’t like me back, so I avoid doing it in public now that I’m older and wiser. You’re lucky you can still wear heels, I used to go everywhere in stilettos- now I can go for a couple of hours straight before my feet start to scream for mercy. Cheers to titahood! 😛
ROBERT LEE says
Age does change a person’s perspective, doesn’t it? What used to be for show is now more on practicality. What was once easy is getting to be a challenge. What was once pure fun now comes with other things to consider. What was once strike anywhere now needs to be planned.
Pia says
My sentiments exactly! Adulting has its perks but I can’t help but miss the spontaneity that comes with being young. 🙂
sabine says
Now that I’m on the way to my thirties, I’m not really into partying anymore. My oh my, how much I’ve changed. I remember I came out of a relationship of 7 years and was single again. I loved to party then. Although I’m not much of a drinker, I was drunk a couple of times. To get over the heartbreak. I was a decent girl for the rest. I never went home with guys or those things. I am glad I never did because I don’t feel like I miss out on anything.
I think as well that the “old” younger me from back of the days, is still inside me somewhere, I just couldn’t care less to go crazy on alcohol and music. But home parties is something I really like.
Pia says
I think we pretty much had the same “party-outlook”- I loved going out but apart from drinking heavily, I never really did anything wild. I also like parties the best now too. I like chill atmospheres where you could actually have conversations with people. 🙂
alison says
You are hilarious! I loved your take on going out and your tips! I think the underdressing is a great tip because there is nothing more desperate than someone trying too hard to fit in. I have never been a partier and never will be but I have heard some funny stores about my friends falling asleep at the table around 2 AM. They didn’t get the nap memo apparently.!
Pia says
Hahaha, thank you! And I agree, overdressing sort of gives people the impression that you’re trying too hard. 😛 Funny, your friends remind me of my friends. :p
Me-An Clemente says
I’m a millennial too, but, since I was never a party girl to begin with like you and I’m not a drinker, I found myself stuck with friends who are already fed up of partying. Yes, they partied too much back in college. So I still haven’t been to Valkyrie and Revel. I’ve only been to the Palace Pool Club and that was just once when I covered a product launch event. Going there, I couldn’t stay to experience the actual party as I couldn’t wear the party outfits I used to wear anymore. I don’t think it fits me as I age (hopefully, gracefully). Anyway, I’m just after dancing and meeting new people in parties. I hope there is a place for me to do that without the pressure of having to drink (we can have fun without drinking) and the smell of smoke all over my clothes.
Pia says
Hey me-an! You guys definitely have more hang out options than we ever did. It’s nice that you have all these low-key places where you can just play board games, do quiz nights or meet new people without having to do that whole party scene. I’m so jealous!
Joanna says
Oh, I so recognized myself reading your post. I was never a party girl and, in fact, because I am simply unable to dance, I don’t like clubs at all. My idea of a night out is going to a chic restaurant for dinner, drink wine and laugh with my friends. I very rarely go into a club and when I do, I just sit backwardly in a corner. Not my type of fun and definitely not my type of people. I have nothing against them, but hipsters ? Really? What’s with those half a meter beards and those dungarees on you? As for staying out later that midnight…. I might fall asleep with my head on the table, haha. 🙂
Pia says
I can’t dance too, although my tipsy alter ego definitely would disagree! Dinner and wine sounds awesome, definitely better than going to a club! Your comment about hipsters made me laugh, the man buns are a little bit much aren’t they? 😛 Honestly though, I use the term ‘millennial’ and ‘hipster’ interchangeably. These kids look all the same to me – another sign of aging I guess? hahaha.
Cheryle says
So this post was meant for a college girl? Just kidding!! Never been into a club. Neither had a drink with friends. But perhaps I should take these tips into consideration. Just in case. *wink*
Pia says
Hahaha! Not applicable to people below 30. 😛 Just kidding!
Sonnie says
I don’t like social gatherings, whenever I will attend an learning event, I normally skip the socials and just watch TV in my hotel room or visit some place.
As an HR Executive, while I organize social events for fellow executives and employees, I only force myself to attend since it’s my event.
And If I’m the host, there will be no alcohol, otherwise, I will ask our President to assign the hosting to someone else. I cannot create a situation where employees (or executives) will lose themselves and do idiotic things,. At the end of the day either I will roll do damage control for executives or discipline employees.
Pia says
I used to thrive in social gatherings – I loved meeting new people! Lately though, I noticed that I’d rather just hang out with a small circle of old friends. Socialising really gets tiring after a while.
Dominic Barrios says
I loved this line: “The only one you will probably bump into is your niece- and you should be policing her outfit, not copying it.”
I think I became Tito too early but no regrets. I loved coffee more than alcohol. I also enjoy talking/laughing with friends with no loud noise on the background trying to breaking our eardrums.
Pia says
Hahaha, thanks Dominic! I’m the exact opposite, I think I accepted Tita-hood a little bit too late. 😛 But definitely with you on the noise. I can’t take loud music anymore- tried going to one of those music festivals. Was not a happy camper. 😛
Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy says
This is such a funny read. I laughed the moment I read about the oversized bag. Obviously because I can so relate! Haha. I’m not much of a partygoer though so I’m glad I don’t have to go into one as a tita. I cannot imagine exchanging my oversized bag for a tiny one. Lol!
Pia says
Hahaha, thank you! Oversized bags are the best! How can I leave the house without do without my makeup kit, tissue, pen, notebook, planner, water bottle and medicine bag? 😛
Swayam Tiwari says
Pia, that is a very good topic to blog upon.But, I have two questions; one, what does Pia mean?Two, which tool do you use to put graphics ?
Pia says
I actually don’t know what Pia means, some books say love some people say pious. I think I’d rather the former than the latter. As for the graphics, I edit them in Photoshop. 🙂
Nicole P. says
okay, so I’m not a tita just yet, but as I had my kids at 18, I wasn’t able to go to clubs as well and reading this post made me laugh really hard. Probably because as I was reading this, I felt more like a tita than a Y-Generation girl, even if my actual age is 23… Because to be honest, I can’t not go anywhere WITHOUT my oversized bag full of necessities like biogesic, makeup kit, wipes, phones and sometimes I even bring my laptop with me hahaha… And because I can’t stand wearing heels within the span of 2 hours. after that, I HAVE to bring out the flats. :3
Pia says
Hahaha. You’re on your way to being a tita then, Nicole. 😛