Last week, I shared some stuff on my brother and our relationship as siblings. Sharing with you some more stuff this week:
ON THE LADY PIG’S UNMENTIONABLES
Det, at a young age, had pretty advance motor skills. He went from toddling precariously to literally climbing the walls and gleefully exploring every other panic-inducing area of the house.
He was however, pretty slow on the uptake verbally. Det did not utter a single word until he was three. He communicated with us through grunts and weird sounds and pointing. He made no attempt to speak – No “ma-ma”, “da-da” – nothing to give my parents any ray of hope that he was going to eventually get there.
He was so delayed that my mother was getting a little freaked out. She actually thought that he was mute or had some sort of speech impediment.
So she did the sensible thing: She went to my grandmother (her mother) for advice.
My grandmother, the sage woman that she was, suggested that they need to feed Det an age-old, tried-and-tested remedy for the speech impaired; kiki ng baboy.
Yup, you read right. My brother was given some poor hapless pig’s vagina for consumption. What the eff, right?
I have no idea where she got the notion that eating Ms. Piggy’s privates would turn my grunting, pointing baby brother into a wordsmith. But even more baffling – my mom actually agreed!!
Luckily, my dad came home just in time to stop the indignity. So he comes home from work, and sees Det happily scurrying around with a piece of porky flesh in his hands. He innocently asks my mom what my brother was holding. He naturally freaks out and grabs it from my brother before he had a chance to put it in his mouth.
As luck would have it, Det started speaking a few weeks after the almost being fed a big juicy slab of pork p*ssy. It would have been a better story if he did get the chance to eat it wouldn’t it? Then we would have pig’s VJJ to thank for his communication skills.
So what’s the point of this story? Nothing. I just wanted a chance to say it again because it’s hella funny. Hehehe.
Seriously though, even at a young age, my brother was always a risk-taker. From questionable cuisine, to adrenaline-inducing activities to more or less weighty life choices, Det was never afraid to take a leap. In comparison, I’ve always been a pansy. So I’m little in awe of the way fearlessly lives life and takes chances. And how even after getting hurt or epically failing, he’s never afraid to jump right back in.
ON HIS PATRICIAN NOSE
I mentioned in my last post that my family has been never the touchy-feely kind. Infact, we usually show our affection in brutal, teasing ways.
As a result, both my brother and I grew up with a self-deprecating sense of humor.
One of the things we always liked teasing Det about was his flat, slightly bulbous nose. Infact, when we were kids, I used to make him cry because I would tell him that he looked like one of them characters in Dinosaucers.
Even my dad, who sincerely had the best intentions, would affectionately pinch my brother’s nose gently, and exclaim “Tangos ilong!”
Long after we all outgrew teasing him though, Det would randomly joke about this in the middle of a totally unrelated conversation, “Oh, I’m sorry! Is my nose blocking your view? Tangos kasi eh!”
Or sometimes, while looking at family pictures, “My bridge is so defined, nagmumukha tuloy kayong pango.”
The thing is, Det has always been very comfortable in his own skin. And it shows with the ease in which he carries himself or the way he has a sense of humor about his “flaws”. He just doesn’t let other people’s opinions of him stop him from doing what he wants to do (or wearing what he wants to wear for that matter. Calling you out on your orange shorts dude.) He just does things regardless; with no ounce of hesitation or self-consciousness.
ON HIS IMAGINARY FRIENDS
Both Det and I grew up with imaginary friends. But, my “friends” actually had names, personalities and distinct idiosyncrasies (I still remember some of them; Fred was the studious one; Steve, his brother, was the funny one.)
Det, however, had more primitive “friends”. In fact, he didn’t even bother giving them names, he merely referred to them as “Kalbo” and “Meron Buhok”. (The Bald One and the One with Hair).
Yes, imagination was definitely not his strong suit.
It’s funny though because that short anecdote also shows how different our personalities are. I am an overthinker; I tend to analyze things to the death and simple tasks become more even more complicated because I look at all details and all scenarios. Even my personality has many facets- I can be a certain way with a certain group of people, be another way with another set of friends.
With Det, what you see is what you get. His personality is pretty consistent and he tends to view things in a less complicated, less strenuous manner. He’s the type who takes things at face value and deals with the complications as they come.
ON MUTUAL RESPECT
People who know us can attest to this, Det and I are complete opposites.
I am a pansy, he’s a risk –taker. He’s uncomplicated, I’m complex. I’m a creature of comfort, he’s pretty much rough-and-tumble. I like to obsess about details, Det is more concerned about the bottom line. I’m more verbally-inclined, he is more spatially-intelligent.
I think these difference were partly the reason why we didn’t get along as kids.
But as we got older, we sort of developed a mutual respect for each other. As our tita succinctly put it (Hi tita B!), we’ve learned to appreciate how our differences complement each other- we’ve learned to appreciate how we each bring something unique to our family and our sibling dynamics.
ON LETTING US DUKE IT OUT
I think we wouldn’t have gotten to this point though, if my parents, didn’t let us just go at it.
Unless our fight got particularly violent, my parents never intervened. Even when my sumbungera ass called their attention every time we had a little tiff (yup, even if I was technically the older one and the bully, I was also usually the first one to rat on my brother too), they would ignore my shrill cries for help and would always insist that we learn to fix our problems ourselves.
It lead to a lot of frustration, but the relationship we’ve managed to build is definitely legit. Since we were never forced or obligated to get along, we don’t necessarily feel that we have to like each other because we’re related by blood. Instead, we’ve actually fostered a spontaneous , genuine friendship that goes beyond normal, dutiful sibling affection.
ON LUCKING OUT WITH MY BROTHER
I definitely credit our parents for providing a loving environment and for raising us to independently manage our conflicts. They may have had made questionable child-rearing decisions, but Det and I wouldn’t have this bond if it weren’t for them.
But I also have to give props where props is due. It is not hard for me to sincerely appreciate Det for who he is because he really is an upstanding guy.
I was a biatch to him when we were growing up, and if my dastardly acts of injustice were done to someone else, we probably wouldn’t even have a relationship right now.
I remember a recent conversation with my husband. We were talking about how a certain person (who shall remain anonymous), has been so traumatized by his sibling’s bullying that they now have a strained relationship.
I smugly pointed out, “Eh ba’t si Det? I bullied him too, but we’re okay now.” To which Moe quickly replied, “Eh si Det yon eh! Mabait kasi kapatid mo.”
I think it was so easy for me to take my brother’s kindness for granted when were kids because he’s the only sibling I have and I have no one to compare him to. 😛 But looking at other people’s relationships with their brothers and sisters, I realize that I really did get lucky with mine. 🙂
So to Det, (brace yourself for the CHEESE): I remember how when papa passed away, you suddenly grew up and took the pressure of being the “man of the house” very seriously. Thank you for always being my annoyingly optimistic shoulder to cry on. I hope you know, that especially now that we’ve also said goodbye to mom, you will always have your ate to nag you and to protect you. I love you!
Teresa says
This is a sweet post. 🙂 You’re blessed to have each other. Your brother is very much like my kids in kalikutan! They give me a lot of reasons to have a nervous breakdown!
Pia says
Hahaha. Thanks Teresa. He’s 32 now. And still makulit. 😛
Carola says
What a great post! Love the stories. So funny. I have two sisters haha. That was fun as well. And sometimes fights. Though I’m >10 younger than they are.
Pia says
Hahaha. Thanks Carola. I think fighting with siblings is a rite of passage of some sorts. I don’t have a sister, I’m wondering if the dynamics are different. 🙂
Maria says
You are so lucky to have your brother. I can’t say anymore since I’m an only child. The feeling I get whenever I see siblings is bittersweet. There are perks of being the only one and the obvious downside is that, you don’t have someone to play with when growing up or someone to tease when you’re bored. Nevertheless, I admire your bond even though there were naughtiness and mischievous acts done. 🙂
Pia says
Thank you Maria! For a time, I wished I was an only child too. Hahaha. But I guess siblings have their uses. 😛
Nilyn says
What a lovely post! No one can describe the love for a sibling. I have 3 and they’re the people that I can freely say what I want to say, always! But before we got to this stage, my sister and I had amazing fights before. There were times that we’d almost kill each other, haha! Those days!
Pia says
I completely resonate! I’m always grateful that I have someone who I can totally be myself with and who understands our family’s crazy. Hahaha. But yes, the fights growing up were just plain awful weren’t they?
Marge says
Det reminds me of my niece, she didn’t talk too up until 3 years old. What she would do is do a sign language. It was weird but a little amusing at the same time. I thought also that she wouldn’t be able to talk but eventually, she just started learning those words. So maybe some people are just slow to develop than the others.
But we didn’t feed her a pig’s vagina though hahaha… That one is hilarious. I wonder where did your grandma get that idea.
This is such a touching post, I’m sure your brother would appreciate this.
Pia says
Hahaha. I know right? I honestly have never heard of the remedy either. But yes, we learned the hard way that kids develop at their own pace. 😛
Stella the Travelerette says
That’s a wild story about your brother and the pig vagina! I’m glad he didn’t have to eat it. I don’t have any siblings, so it’s a relationship I am curious about. It’s nice that you two are close even though you are so different.
Pia says
Thank you Stella! Being an only child is one my what-ifs in life. Lol.
Berlin says
Just love how everything was said / written. You undeniably love your brother. I imagined then having a brother and perhaps my life would have been different. I doubt if i got married. He would may be the first person to disillusion me about love or my standards of a husband would be so high i might be a spinster now.
Pia says
Aww. What a sweet thing to say. I seriously think that my brother is a catch. He’s also my bench mark of what a good guy is. 🙂
ROBERT LEE says
Sibling love. 🙂 Alam mo, that was a big thing, letting you duke it out. Bullied or bullying, it happens, kids fight, me and my brother and sisters did too. But fighting is a form of knowing each other. Having said that, sinong kapatid ba naman ang magbubulgar sa buong mundo na minsang muntik na kumain ng kiki ng baboy ang kapatid? Of course, only you!
http://www.amazinglifedaily.com #AmazingLifeDaily
Pia says
Agree! Fighting is definitely something that you have to go through in every relationship. But yes, hahaha. It’s part of my older sister joy to embarrass my brother every so often. Hahaha. 😛
TRAVEL EAT PINAS says
Such a wonderful and funny story! I have a sister as well. Growing up we fight a lot but as we mature we value each other more and become best of friends. I don’t honestly know what’s the connection of pig pimpim to verbal stuff but my mom gave that to me as well and thinking of it now oh…. *facepalm
Pia says
Are you serious? my brother isn’t alone then! You should start a support group! Lol!
Jen Bave says
This made me miss my brother. Why do older siblings are the finest bullies?! My older brother would always bully me to get what he wants and whenever I rant he’ll strung he or choke me to almost death so, I’ll end up crying and follow him. Yes! So violent, but now we both respect each other so much and our loyalty are so tight. That’s what siblings supposedly are. Even if he’s away, we still talk to each other from time to time. I love my brother so much. Sibling love.
Pia says
Oh, you’re the youngest? Older siblings can be bullies talaga no? :p But yes, even if we fight, it’s nice to know that we’ll always be fiercely loyal to each other. 🙂
Ginoel Orejo says
I seriously can’t get over the pig’s privates! Yikes! Anyway, this reminded me the similar dynamic that my sister and I have. I also loved the books that you quoted. Cheers!
Pia says
Thanks Gino! Cheers to you and your sister!
Gryselle Mae says
That was so hilarious!! Pig’s privates? Seriously? Haha. Elders sure have a lot of weird beliefs! I remember the name when I was around 13 years old, I just got my period and I have so many pimples on my face. The elders including my mom (ofcourse) kept on pestering me to put period blood on my face to make the pimples disappear. Like what? I may only be 13 years old then but I knew that period blood are actually dirt from our body. Where do they get these crazy ideas??
Pia says
Hahaha, I’ve actually heard of that tradition. My grandmother gingerly brought it up when I first had my period too. Ofcourse I would have none of it. 😛
Miera Nadhirah Tan Abdullah says
it must be so nice having a partner in crime, someone you can count on from the time you were born until you grow up.. I wish I had one.. but sadly I was an only child, though definitely NOT a spoiled brat, on the contrary I was one who got picked on .. and I often felt so lonely and to a stage where I do not really know how to deal with people, thus making me an introvert in many ways..
Pia says
Hi Meira, I only appreciated having a brother when I was much, much older. You have no idea how many times I wished I was an only child. Hahaha. Grass is always greener, I guess?